SouthernPlayalisticEvolutionMusic

This week I’ve completed my first week on the real job – teaching undergraduate college courses in Animal Behavior, Evolution, and a Seminar in Sexual Selection – Hip hop style. Yeah, you read write. I ain’t your typical science professor! I’m a Hip Hop Maven. So this won’t be like any science class you’ve ever had. Each week students (and I) will be reading, summarizing and analyzing research papers about animal behavior and evolution with a little twist. Students will be challenged to explore and scour hip hop song lyrics for examples of sexual selection concepts at play. Think of it as

or better yet Research Blogging meets BET:Uncut. Essentially we’ll be taking a look at Sex, Dating, and Relationships as depicted in popular culture and hip hop music and pointing out how examples of evolutionary biology principles at play. To start things out, I gave the students an introduction to

Mate Choice & Mate Competition as explained by Roxanne, Roxanne: UTFO (video, lyrics)

Cheating and Extra-pair copulation as explained by OPP: Naughty by Nature (video, lyrics)

Heighten Female reproductive signaling corresponding to menstrual cycle i.e. The 2007 research paper published in Evolution and Human Behavior Journal “Ovulatory cycle effects on tip earnings by lap dancers: economic evidence for human estrus?” as explained byMake It Rain (NSFW) Travis Porter (video, lyrics) or Fat Joe & Lil Wayne (video, lyrics). But really, this mash-up of science & hip hop wasn’t even hard. This paper was screaming to be explained with a rap song.

There is no assigned textbook for the course because I haven’t come across a text that I think is ideal for general audiences including undergraduate students. I will be drawing heavily from some great books.
Sexual Selection by Malte Andersson, 1994 Princeton University Press
Why Sex Matters: A Darwinian Look at Human Behavior by Bobbi Low, 2001 Princeton University Press
Sexual Nature/Sexual Culture edited by Paul Abramson & Steven Pinkerton, 1995, University of Chicago Press

A little more about my class is below. Anyone interested in auditing my class? I bet something like this is just the thing NESCent is looking for.

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Course Title: Senior Seminar: Sexual Selection – The Birds, The Bees & Beats

Course Description: This senior seminar examines the evolutionary concept of sexual selection in the context of behavioral ecology using popular culture references of hip hop music and videos. Students will read and summarize primary and secondary literature to explore primary concepts of evolutionary biology and behavioral ecology.

Course Philosophy: This course broadly exposes students to evolutionary and behavioral ecological processes that promote the vast diversity of sexual and reproductive behaviors of humans and animals. The course deliberately blurs the line of objectivity and inserts human as both the observer and subject alongside that of other mammals, birds, insects and other vertebrates species. By allowing students to examine modern human behavior – including their own – it is my hope that they can fully understand and comprehend the role of evolutionary processes in general, and on human sexual behavior, in particular. The curriculum aims to challenge upper-division undergraduate students by creatively asking them to answer these questions:
1. What drives individuals to mate/reproduce?
2. How have humans and animals achieved mating/reproductive success?
3. How do we, humans, express our ‘sexually selected’ behavior in pop culture and hip hop media?

Course Outline: Students are required to lead weekly discussions that dissect scientific papers on topics related to mate choice, mate competition, courtship, sexual dimorphism, mating strategies, alternate mating tactics and all of the other highlights of sexual selection. Like conventional seminar courses students will have to reference scientific literature and write papers, but this course allows them to creatively apply these concepts using multiple media outlets.

Course topics

SEX

• Male/female differences Secondary sex characteristics/ Reproductive signaling
• Coitus/Orgasm/Sexual Pleasure
• Attraction/attractivity

DATING

• Courtship strategies
• Intrasexual selection
• Intersexual selection/Mate choice & Sexual Conflict
• Resource holding potential
• Reproductive capacity (female)
• Alternative mating strategies
• Sperm competition

RELATIONSHIPS & PARENTING

• Monogamy vs. everything else
• Everything else: Promiscuity, Polygamy, Polyandry, Polyamory
• Cheating/EPC/EPF

Presentations: Each week a student leads a discussion of a course topic based on required readings. Additional papers can also be shared (but be sure to designate which is the required paper). Presenters and students will discuss the papers, including offering music/video or other pop culture examples to share related to the topic.

Writing Assignments: Reading and comprehending scientific literature is a very important skill. These assignments are designed to help students delve more deeply into topics as well as interact with primary and secondary literature. Students will write a synopsis of the hypotheses and research trends related to this topic. Summarize the evolutionary concept and thoroughly explain the concept through a hip hop/pop culture lens and also include original sources of research, too. Both scientific and media reference should be included.

Article orginally posted at The Urban Scientist on The Scientific American Blog Network.

Go out and get the September 2011 issue of Scientific American.  This special issue is all about Cities – Better, Greener, Smarter! Yes, the urban environment!  It’s one big grand issue and the Scientific American website and Blog Network will off additional remarks, insights as responses to articles in the hard copy magazine.

But of course this inspires the hip hop maven.  Here’s the soundtrack for the Cities Special Edition.

A Side: Hip Hop

The Message by Grand Master Flash

Hard Knock Life by Jay Z: http://youtu.be/zxtn6-XQupM
Everything’s Gonna Be Alright (Ghetto Bastard): http://youtu.be/j7VD5UpAXPo

B Side: Old School R&B Soul

Living for the City by Stevie Wonder

Inner City Blues by Marvin Gaye: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tOpwgrqshU
In the Ghetto by Donnie Hathaway: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLUh70zp0LE
Across 110th Street by Bobby Womack: http://youtu.be/I9wqUruBXe8

And the hidden bonus track

When The Lights Go Down in the City by Journey: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9tyMp5A03k in reference to the SciAm Blog post by the same name at Anthropology in Practice.

What does a biologist look like? Who are biologists? Where do they work and what exactly do they do?

For many grade school and middle school children, the image of an older (usually Caucasian) male with wild gray hair comes to mind. He’s holding a test tube or flask and wearing a white lab coat and goggles. Other than the wild hair, none of those phrases describe me.

But why do so many people recall that image? I don’t know, but  I do know that the Faces of Biology Photo Contest presented by the American Institute of Biological Sciences is an excellent opportunity to expand everyone’s preconceptions what a biologist looks like and what he/she does.

The contest is an opportunity to showcase the varied forms that biological research can take.  Photographs entered into the contest must depict a person, such as a scientist, researcher, technician, or student, engaging in biological research.  The depicted research may occur outside, in a lab, with a natural history collection, on a computer, in a classroom, or elsewhere. ~ from the official contest website.

Like this one of me (and my wild hair, hahaha)

Seriously, you should consider a picture of your own to the contest. The grand prize is this

I’m not there, but I will be tuning in this evening – on the web and tweeting, too.
The ceremony is 6:00 - 10:0 pm (PST)
You can join me if you like. 

In the meantime, here are some important links and folks to follow for the event.
Black Weblog Awards website and Twitter @BlkWeblogAwards
Blogging While Brown Conference website, Twitter @BWBConference and hashtag to follow – #BWB
Me – on Twitter @DNLee5
Kim Coles on Twitter @KimColes
I’ll be at The Whiz Technology Cafe Twitter @WhizTechCafe in St. Louis for a live tweetup, in case you’re in the neighborhood.

Live cast here:

Video clips at Ustream

You may have noticed how quiet it’s been lately. I have been busy trying to work and pay bills.  Doing non-traditional work has been quite an experience for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love outreach and I enjoy sharing what I know with others as a consultant, but doing it as my full-time wasn’t my strong suit.  And I’ll admit I miss academia culture – the teaching, research, and going to journal clubs – and doing hands-on outreach. What can I say, I’m a nerd and I am proud.

So imagine how geekily excited I was when I was asked to join the newest Science Blogging Network on the Globe — @ScientificAmerican Blog Network. If that sounds a little familiar to you, then you can certainly understand my excitement and pride over joining the network.  It’s the name of a rather popular science magazine.

I can’t write unique content for three science blogs. And since I will be paid for writing for Scientific American Blog Network, The Urban Scientist will be my blogging priority. The good news is that I am allowed to syndicate my content at my blogs, which I will do.

So please come check out the new blog and the awesome blog network. Please leave a comment at the new blog. It includes some amazing bloggers. I think it’s a great neighborhood and I hope everyone enjoys all of the great science reading to be had among my new SciAm blog siblings, including Papa Smurf himself – Bora! Yay!
 Thanks for love, the support (moral and financial), the prayers, the encouragement, and critiques.  You made this modest little blog and me – a student who struggled fiercely with her writing – a better blog/writer and it was with your kind thoughts and wishes that this blog was noticed and asked to be apart of something grand.

Thank you very much. With all of my love.
Danielle

I would say I’m not political, but that would be a lie. I am political and I have a strong sence of agency.  But I try very, very hard not to use my online space to vent frustrations. (That’s what The Hermitage‘s space is for, tee hee hee.)

But in defense of hip hop I stand.  Today, the First Lady of the United States of America – the awesome, beautiful, “Teach Me How to Dougie” Michelle Obama straight from the South side of Chicago hosted an evening of poetry at the Whitehouse.

Click on picture to see Michelle dance and do the Dougie

And wouldn’t you know it, the uber-conservative Tea party-esque speaking heads had something to say about two of the invitees – Common and Jill Scott.

There is a very serious and blatant double standard at play.  When nice folks like Mrs. Palin and her family pose with assault weapons or talk of seceding from the Union or disregarding government regulations or ignoring authority it’s called grand, patriotic. It’s American Freedom, the Second Amendment, dammit!  Let some Black or Brown folk stand around in the outdoors brandishing weapons, talking about not respecting the Authorites and all of sudden they screaming and running like  Antoinne Dobson…Oh Lawd, Hide ya Kids, Hide ya Wife! Seriously, calling Common a vile choice or a “cop-killer gangsta rapper” you must be smoking that ish.  Like, for real Common is inappropriate and promotes violence, but this guy is okay…

N.W.A Fuck the Police (NSFW)

Yeah, Eazy-E was met Ronald Reagan and was invited to the Whitehouse by George HW Bush.  When Reagan and Bush 41 embrace a hood figure “Straight Outta Compton”, that’s okay, huh?  I guess when Eazy said Fuck the Police he was really using code for “let’s have a tea party, friends”. That’s Uh, er, um, yea…

John Stewart really says it all.

Slaptastic responses and reactions like these by the cast of conservative characters are also some of the same ones who are dismantling our science research infrastructure.  (See the Eric Cantor YouCut website) I swear, they hate science and the people who do/teach/promote it. No to research funds for basic and many applied sciences; but yes to the innovation, jobs, and economic recovery that science and technology bring.

Madness!

It’s that time of year, a little ealy this time, but it’s award season – the 2011 Black Weblog Awards Nominations season is open.  Time to nominate your favorite blogs about any and every topic.  Of course, I’m throwing my hat into the race, in several races in fact.  But I’m also sharing my other favorite blogs to check out, too.  Nominate your conscience, but either, please help me spread the word about the online award program.

Nominations:

Nominations are open from April 18 – May 7th
The official Nomination site is here.
You provide the web address (url) for your favorite blog in each category as well as your name and email address on the nomination form and that’s it. 
There are 37 categories. 

Voting:

Finalists will be announced the week of May 15th and online voting commences May 16 – June 17, 2011. Again, you will need to cast your vote (your valid email address will confirm you are a person and not a bot).
Winners will be announced live at the Black Weblog Awards Ceremony during the 2011 Blogging While Brown Conference in Los Angeles, California.

Here are the categories, along with some of my favorites for select categories.
Best Blog Design (This category is for well-designed blogs that incorporate a unique and eye-catching visual web design, keen use of typography, and a killer layout)

Best Blog Network (This category is for Black blog networks. Blog networks should be comprised of at least three (3) blogs with content updated regularly, include some level of quality control, and include some type of blog network indication (badge, link, etc.) which links to the blog network’s site.)

Best Blog Post Series (This category is for a series of posts in a blog about a particular topic. Posts can be fiction or non-fiction, but post series must be linked by a common and identifiable theme with the ability to skip forward or backwards through the series for judging purposes (i.e., archives, pagination, etc.))
I’m a fan of my Feministing Friday posts at SouthernPlayalisticEvolutionMusic, just saying.

Best Business Blog This category is for blogs that talk about the modern business world (advertising, marketing, finance, business trends, etc.).
MartyBLOGs
Blog@RossPR

Best Culture Blog (This category is for blogs which analyze and discuss Black culture and/or the African diaspora with respect to art, dance, Black history, music, and other related content.)
Rooted in Earth

Best Cooking or Food Blog
This category is for blogs which focus on food and/or recipes. Blogs may also include restaurant and product reviews.

Best Faith-Based Blog (This category is for blogs which feature unique religious and spiritual content from any religion or faith.)

Best Fashion or Beauty Blog (This category is for blogs which cover the topics of beauty, fashion, clothing, cosmetics, design, accessories, personal styling, and other related content for either men or women.)

Best Film Blog (This category is for blogs which promote or discuss films, actors, film culture, and other related content.)

Best Gaming or Comics Blog (This category is for blogs which promote or discuss films, actors, film culture, and other related content.)

Best Gossip Blog (This category is for blogs that focus on the reporting, satire, and lampooning of celebrities and pop culture.)

Best Group Blog (This category is for a single blog which is updated by a group of people (two or more people). This blog can be about any topic.)

Best Health or Wellness Blog (This category is for blogs that focus on health, fitness, living green, and overall physical wellness.)

Best Hip-Hop Blog (This category is for blogs that focus primarily on hip-hop culture, including urban fashion, current events, hip-hop music, and other related content.)
SouthernPlayalisticEvolutionMusic

Best Humor Blog (This category is for humor blogs or blogs which feature humorous content. All sites comedy-related, including humor sites, sites spotlighting comedians, and sites that simply make you laugh.)
Awesomely Luvvie

Best International Blog (This category is for blogs of any topic that are based in countries other than the United States. The country of origin for the blog must be clearly identified for judging purposes.)
Geotraveler’s Niche
The Urban Birder

Best LGBT Blog (This category is for blogs that relate to or are about the LGBT community, including news, pop culture, or personal stories)

Best Microblog (This category is for the following types of microblogs: Twitter profiles, Tumblr blogs, or Posterous blogs.)
Lola Gets Life
Blacking it Up!

Best Music Blog (This category is for blogs that focus on music; blogs can provide downloadable mp3s, and may cover more than one genre of music. The majority of the blog should be about music, not satire on pop culture.)

Best New Blog This category is for blogs of any topic which have been started on or after September 1, 2010.)
SouthernPlayalisticEvolutionMusic

Best Parenting or Family Blog (This category is for blogs which center around the topics of family, raising children, families, etc.)

Best Personal Blog (This category is for blogs written by individuals about themselves or about others. Blogs do not have to adhere to a specific theme, but should specifically be about the blogger’s life.)

Best Photography Blog (This category is for blogs which present and feature photographs taken by the blog author.)
For most part, I feature nature photos taken by me at Urban Science Adventures! ©, just saying.
The Urban Birder

Best Podcast Series (This category highlights podcasts — serialized audio files available to download — on any topic.)

Best Political or News Blog (This category is for blogs which are about politics or current newsworthy topics.)

Best Science or Technology Blog (This category is for blogs which feature content about biology, chemistry, physics, technology, the Internet, and the various realms of science) Let me say how excited to let you know that there are more science blogs out there by black authors – other than mine of course. Yay! Glad to say, you have some deciding to do!
SouthernPlayalisticEvolutionMusic
Urban Science Adventures! ©
Bashir
The Hermitage
On the Tech side, there are some awesome blogs, too.
Anjuan Simmons
BDPA Education & Technology Foundation
But You’re a Girl

Best Sex or Relationships Blog (This category is for blogs which discuss or analyze romantic or interpersonal relationship topics, sexual health, and/or other sexual or relationship topics.)
Lola Gets Life

Best Sports Blog (This category is for blogs which discuss or analyze anything sports-related, including professional sports teams, fantasy sports, sports players, and other related content.)
Black Sports Online

Best Teen Blog (This category is for blogs of any topic where the author is anywhere from 13-19 years old.)

Best Travel Blog (This category is for blogs which explore world travel, travel plans, tourism, travel writing, or other related content)
Jay Travels
Geotraveler’s Niche

Best Video Blog/Vlogger (This category highlights blogs which feature original video content by the blog’s author on any topic. Blog content must be primarily video content.)
Glamazini

Best Writing in a Blog (This category is for blogs which have exceptional writing.)

Blog of the Year (The blog of the year has it all: great writing, frequent posts, active comments, and a strong reader base)
Dare I dream, either of my blogs…LOL

Blog to Watch (This category is for that great blog that not everyone knows about…but should! It’s undiscovered. It’s a best kept secret)
SouthernPlayalisticEvolutionMusic – I think my mash-up blog of hip hop and science is awesome and the neatest things I’ve ever conceived, but I am biased.

Best Lifestyle Blog
Naturally Leslie
The Cubicle Chick

Best Plus-Sized Fashion Blog

Best Automotive/ Car Blog

Best Green/ Nature/ Outdoor Living Blog (I’m super excited about his category. I recommended it!)
Outdoor Afro
Rooted in Earth
The Joy Trip Project
Black and into Green
The Urban Birder

Ok, let me repeat this

…feminism is complex.  And for me, my identity as a Feminist is evolving.  I’ve come to define it this way: Feminism is the philosophy that says though caring, mothering and nurturing are definitely within the female repertoire, girls and women are (and can be) more than caregivers, baby-makers, sex objects and in a professional setting we are more than place holders, note takers and cheerleaders.

Ok, now that that is out of the way, let me lay the pieces of this Feministing Friday rant out for everyone to peruse.

I saw a couple of links from the all fair lady Dr. Isis, which I dub as the I roll my eyes, I roll my eyes Series. First it was this:
The Christian Patriarchy Movement… then
How Fortunate… both at On Becoming a Domestic and Laboratory Goddess (’cause I’m reading in revers chronological order). And that led me to Why I’m not a guilt-stricken mother and why I have it all and why the patriarchy sucks by Nicole and Maggie at the Grumpy Rumblings of the Untenured
which took me back to Isis (link at Agora Women for Science is dead), where she shared an account of juggling mommy and professional researcher duties and felt guilty that she isn’t always able to bring her A-game on the Mom and Wife court.

The whole round-about thing is this:

There is a growing movement of people who would love to bring back the Patriarchy – you that way of living where women lived to make men happy – first your father and/or brothers, later your husband.  A girl’s life is meant to groom her for her domestic duties and when she becomes a woman she is snatched up by a great, kind, well-paid, financially & morally disciplined man who will take care of her and their children for ever and ever.

From the feminist perspective, this is some BullS***!  Refer back to my definition of feminism if you don’t get why this is some crap. 

As I read both Isis’ and Nicole & Maggie’s reponses, I completed agreed with both.  Nicole and Maggie make a great point when it comes to sharing household and child-rearing duties with spouses and the freedom that comes from multi-generational liberation. It’s grand.  But to flick their wrist at Isis working out her angst is — I’m sorry to say, something quite typical of people from the priviledged side of the aisle.   ”The Patriarchy” isn’t universal and neither is the philosopy of feminism. Isis’ main point to Nicole and Maggie was this:

And everyone knows that cultural gender norms are universal among Americans. After all, the patriarchy is the patriarchy and it treats everyone equally in space and time, regardless of their culture. Except, you know, when it doesn’t.

I read the link provided by Isis which describes Latino family dynamics and I could totally relate.   Which got me to thinking about the different shades of feminism…Womanism is what comes to mind.  (I learned about it as Africana Womanism from THE Dr. Clenora Hudson-Weems herself). 

Essentially, the ‘feminism’ that many women of color practice isn’t always the same brand, flavor, and variety that our sisters of palor may practice.  For many women of color, womanism is distinct from feminism, because it DOES embrace so many of the typical gender roles of wman as care-giver, lover, and nurturer.  In fact, the Africana Womanism I’ve seen celebrated, is a woman who balances those Mother-Nurturer roles at home, in the commuity, and in the workplace.  She is a consumate professional on three stages – simulataenously domestic and corporate, if you will and her respect by others isn’t diminsihed for it.

Among my contemporaries, we call it the Superwoman syndrome.  A smart beautiful woman dashes home and throws on her mommy cape to spend time with her spouse and family – as they all chip in to tidy the house, prepare dinner, share a meal and spend quality time together.  It’s awesome. (And in many cases a complere fantasy! But we try and reach toward that ideal).  

Which got me thinking about this issue as a Hip Hop Maven and I recalled this: Keri Hilson Is A Feminist, Not That She Wants To Say So, Exactly at Jezebel.  You see, despite Keri’s affirmative lyrics and outlook for herself, women, and girls, she is quite reluctant to label herself as a feminist.  She even defensively remarks, “I’m not a Nazi with it.” My first reaction to that statement was what does that mean.  Why does being a feminist automatically evoke these images of mean, ball breaking women….Oh, then I thought, thanks Rush. What a gem your are for that.

However, her reaction (and I am sure many other young women & men may agree) does speak volumes about the fact that so few women – older and younger – and girls have no connection to a feminist ideaology, even a modified one such as womanism.  And I think it is to their detriment. 

If we left if all up to the market forces of hip hop, the pervasive images and lyrics of mysongeny would primarily counsel girls on the fine arts of having a fine body, pole dancing, p-popping, stripping, gold diggery, having sex with any man (regardless of how fit, attractive, or well groomed he is), having sex with other equally vexing women (cause men like that, too) and being anonymous (cause you have no name or personality).

Yea, hip hop is in need of a serious of a feminist/womanist coup and there are way too many girls out here who need schooling.  Pull up a chair and listen to the Queen & Monie Love.

Ladies First by Queen Latifah with Monie Love

(and I had the exact same hair cut and style as the Queen in high school. lol)

Me, in 10th grade (around the time the song was out). See the banging hair? FRESH!

Yes, you read right. Please check it out.

Under-represented and underserved: Why minority role models matter in STEM

And the sound track for this post….

I Can by Nas

rock that!

I grew up in Memphis, Tennessee and attended Whitehaven High School. Once it was an all-white school, in an all white suburban town – hence the name Whitehaven. Following desegregation, annexation of the town, and decades of white-flight, it is practically an all-Black high school. Many of my peers went off to attend historical black colleges and universities or at least universities with sizeable minority student populations. Not, I. For undergraduate as well as graduate education, I attended what are termed to be majority institutions. It became typical for me to be one of the few persons of color in the classroom, lecture hall or laboratory. Such experiences definitely prepared me for what to expect at professional science conferences and workshops. Many times, I have been the only person of color – the lone black girl, sitting in the middle of the room.

However, being the only one isn’t without its issues. At ScienceOnline2011, several participants shared comments at the Women in Science and MLK Jr Memorial sessions, about the internal angst of belonging. As a member of the outgroup, whether you’re a woman, person of color, someone who is homosexual or differently able, it is not uncommon to deal with internal feelings of marginalization. When you’ve been battling others expectations of you – sometimes low, sometimes astronomically high, both are equally debilitating – you can get all messed up in the head.

It’s weird – being simultaneously conspicious and invisible. Conspicious because you stand out, a ‘a fly in the buttermilk’. Any thing you do is magnified, arriving late to class, leaving early, checking your cell phone for messages, speaking, changing your hairstyle. And if the conversation involves ‘special interests’ like social justice or race-relations or just the mention of a person of color, suddenly you’re expected to be this expert and perfectly accurate about everything. and it is a sceneto get everyone staring at me when ever social justice or race becomes the topic. And at the same time you’re invisible. When it is time to select lab partners or interject a criticism to research project design, or you raise your hand to ask a much-needed question, suddenly you’re sporting Harry Potter’s cloak.

Harry sporting his invisibility cloak

It’s like you’re fighting. All of the time. And the biggest battle is happening in your head and in your heart. You ask yourself: did I try hard enough, did I overlook something. You begin to check and balance yourself – keeping a notebook of every time you do ANYTHING: read a paper, went to the lab, ran an experiment, ran an analysis. You pre-empt any criticism that you slacked off, weren’t prepared, or not worthy to be where you are. The incessant feeling of expecting criticism can be exhausting; and it can take its toll on you.  It can manifest itself as fear diagnosed as the imposter syndrome. Or it can manifest itself as defensiveness diagnosed as Uppidity/Angry Negro Syndrome, also called Stuck-up Bitch syndrome and other names. If you’ve never experienced any of these feelings, then consider yourself lucky, very lucky.

And the situation becomes infuriating when you hear people or institutions declare empty promises or committments of promoting diversity and inclusion. Let’s blast your photo all over the brochure/internet or reference you for how great our diversity/minority-inclusion programs are; but hey, don’t dare challenge our wisdom as to how effective our diversity and outreach efforts are. Afterall, we got you, so that means everything we do is just fine, right? Remember that. It makes you feel heavy and exhausted and heart sick. Is this what tokenism feels like? (or like this) I suspect it feels alot like this:

Unpretty by TLC